Part 1: Photo Workshop with Jonathan

Finally my photo session with Jonathan ended. It was fun and challenging session. As I expected he is looking for a perfect shoot from me. The hardest part is “my soul”. For this shoot we are looking into my facial expression. I was facing two major problems apart from my body size. First problem was my eyes and the second was my mouth. Both of these two features will effects the quality of the picture. After hundreds of shooting, only 4 photos came out nicely and only one photo is perfect in the way of lighting, facial expression and movement.

I love shooting photo regardless is a portrait or landscaping and do modeling simply because photo never lies. From a photo you can see a person “soul” . This “soul” is not only referring to the model feeling but also the photographer.

Technically I do not know how to put it in word. But you can see a person from the photo or any art work. That is their inner world. Just like you can "see" a person from the photo. Wait and see my "soul" coming up next week.
Cheers....

Eclipse

Finally got my eclipse.....

Up and Down

I had been home for 4 months already. For the pass 4 months lot of things had happen and I have to accept all the things that come along. I not eassy for me specially the emotional part. Lot of time I feel like giving up but some how things just force me to move on. That's why Jonanthan keep telling me that when he look at my photo I seem to be souless.

In my mind, I'm still much confuss and distrub and my body seem to be weaker. I still feel like I am swimming in the stormy sea. Everyone expect me to be strong and be cool. But does they ever realize that I'm only human? I just hope that I can be stronger.I still miss him.

I hope that this coming Tuesday I can have a good performance in the studio. I really dun want to dissapoint Jonathan. Futher more I think I should improve my skill. I know is hard but nothing is easy anyway. Never try never know. I wish to see how far I can go in fornt of camera. Just wish myself all the best.

For the pass few weeks I had been flighting against the "current". I just trying to arrange lot of activities as much as I can to make myself busy and tired so that I can sleep at night.

One thing I happy about myself is I had cut my hair. Now is really short. I love it. I look younger, more tidy and refreshing. Cutting my hair is the biggest change which I ever allow myself to go though. My long hair is my glory for the pass. But I find myself look better and feel better with short hair. I give myself a hug and thank you that give me a change to cut my hair.
I can't wait to see myself in picture.

Photos

It has been years I did not do modeling. When I was young I never thought that camera love me that much. I think at that point of time I was just a fat girl with very low self esteem. Until I did my first photo shot when I was 18 years old. Almost every year I will did a least one photo shot in studio. For the past, I work closely with different photographers and make up artist. I had tried any different shot before, untill today I still think Jonathan is the best photographers in town if I would compare his shooting skills with others.

Besides him, another new photographer that I highly give credit to is Shenyeo. A new gifted freelance photographer. When I started to explore the world of camera, Jonathan is my Guru. From my experience, nothing can hide infornt of the camera, exspecially Shenyeo's camera.

Camera and photo never lie. For the last two projects with Jonathan, he was complaining about my "eye" and my performance. He said that my eye seem to be very "hard". I guess what he is trying to said was, I dun have "soul" in my eye---- which mean I had lost the feeling and myself infornt of the camera.

For the next two weeks, I will going to have my photo shooting with both of them. In door shooting with Jonathan and outdoor shooting with Shenyeo.

This will be a big challenge for me because my size had increased.... and I have to find my "soul". I gotta find my soul and confident back in order to have "me" in the photo.

I'm so chill yet nervous about the photo shoot because the photo will reflex me.

This morning Shen asked me what do I want in the photo? I told him he need to find Poh Ling in the photo.

Well, wait and see if Poh Ling is back...........

Part II: CMV Virus

SymptomsBy Mayo Clinic staff

Most people infected with CMV but who are otherwise healthy exhibit few if any symptoms. In fact, many people never know they have the virus. The type and seriousness of a CMV infection usually depends on your overall health.
When first infected (primary CMV), some adults may have symptoms similar to mononucleosis.

Signs and symptoms of primary CMV include:
Fatigue
Weakness
Night sweats
Prolonged fever
Swollen glands or sore throat, or both
Loss of appetite or weight loss, or both
Muscle aches or joint pain or stiffness
General feeling of illness, discomfort or uneasiness
When the cause of these symptoms is CMV, you still may not know you have the virus because the symptoms are usually mild and short-lived and are also common in other illnesses.


Signs and symptoms in adults with compromised immunityIn adults who have a compromised immune system (immunocompromised adults), CMV can attack specific organs. This can result in signs and symptoms in the:
Eyes, including visual impairment and blindness
Lungs, including pneumonia with low blood oxygen (hypoxemia)
Gastrointestinal system, including diarrhea and ulcerations with bleeding
Liver, including hepatitis which is most often characterized by a prolonged, unexplained fever
Brain, including inflammation of the brain (encephalitis) with behavioral changes, seizures and coma


Symptoms in childrenIf you're pregnant and become infected with CMV for the first time, you may not experience serious illness, but it's possible to pass CMV to the fetus through the placenta. In most cases newborns don't exhibit evidence of infection at birth. Only about three newborns in 100 who are infected with CMV during pregnancy will be ill at birth. Of this 3 percent, most will be very ill and have a significant risk of permanent disabilities.
Most babies who are infected before they're born appear healthy at birth, but a fraction of those can develop signs over time — sometimes not for months or years after birth. The most common of these late-occurring signs is hearing loss. A small number may develop vision impairment as well.


Most babies born with CMV (congenital CMV) never have any signs or symptoms.
Immediate signs of CMV in newborns include:
Yellow skin and eyes (jaundice)
Purple skin splotches or a rash, or both
Small size at birth (or low birth weight)
Enlarged spleen
Enlarged and poorly functioning liver
Pneumonia
Seizures


Disabilities arising from newborn CMV include:
Hearing loss
Eye abnormalities, including central vision loss, scarring of the retina, and swelling and irritation of the eye (uveitis)
Mental disability
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
Autism
Lack of coordination
Small head
Seizures
Death

Breaking Dawn

Two days ago, I finally found "Breaking Dawn", but I can't start my reading because I dun have "Eclipse". Hey mate u have to find it in KL and bring it back for me....I much depend on you to kill time if not I'm gonna bug you wahaaaa... Please try your best............

Research part 1 :Cytomegalovirus (CMV Virus)

Recently one of my kill time project is doing research on Cytomegalovirus (CMV virus), AABB require all the patient need to go for HIV, HTLV 1&2, Hepatitis B&C, VDRL, Syphilis & CMV screening. Among all the viruses, CMV is least that we know about it. When come to STD, people are familiar with HIV, Herpes & Syphilis, however a lot of people overlooked at CMV until the patient need to do transplantation or seriously ill.

Compare to Syphilis, the virus look less attractive. Personally I think Syphilis virus look more artistic.

In USA, 50%-85% adult are infected by this virus. To me this statistic is like "whole nation is doom". Because there is no antibody to prevent this virus. So my next question will be, how about in Malaysia? Do people ever wonder why some transplantation fails apart from just a reason “body rejection?” Why some pregnant lady died before or after giving birth? Why some kids had mental problem or serious illness? Well there must be lot of cause, any one of the contribution to the cause is this less attractive deathly CMV virus.
This virus can transmit to child before birth or/and most people are infected by it without knowing it.

Cytomegalovirus (from the Greek cyto-, "cell", and -megalo-, "large") is a viral genus of the Herpesviruses group: in humans it is commonly known as HCMV or Human Herpesvirus 5 (HHV-5).[1] CMV belongs to the Betaherpesvirinae subfamily of Herpesviridae, which also includes Roseolovirus.

Symptoms:

Most children and adults who are infected with CMV do not develop symptoms. Those who develop symptoms may experience an illness resembling infectious mononucleosis and have fever, swollen glands and feel tired.

People with a compromised immune system (such as AIDS patients or those receiving chemotherapy) may experience more serious illness involving fever, pneumonia and other symptoms.

Mode of transmission:
-From person to person
-Secretion or excretion (Urine, saliva, breast milk, cervical secretion, semen)
- From a donated organ
-Transfused blood
-Reactivation of a past infection

CMV infection can be associated with:
-Lower success rate in stem cell transplantation
-Organ rejection
-Cause illness such as pneumonia, hepatitis or death

Consequences of CMV infection can be devastating by causing disease or death in:
-Pregnant women
-Transplant patient
-Person with HIV
-Person with low immune system
-Person with cancer
-Baby -Generalized infection may occur in the infant, and can cause complications such as low birth weight, microcephaly, seizures, petechial rash similar to the "blueberry muffin" rash of congenital rubella syndrome, and moderate hepatosplenomegaly (with jaundice). Though severe cases can be fatal, with supportive treatment most infants with CMV disease will survive. However, from 80% to 90% will have complications within the first few years of life that may include hearing loss, vision impairment, and varying degrees of mental retardation.
Another 5% to 10% of infants who are infected but without symptoms at birth will subsequently have varying degrees of hearing and mental or coordination problems.

Baby with CMV retinitis

Baby with CMV Virus

Two types of IgM & IgG antibodies testing before send for RNA test (Total CMV DNA Assay) helps control the infection risk of these groups:
-Antibodies to CMV are evidence of a current or past infection
-It does not mean the person has lifetime immunity
-After infection usually they can stay hidden inside a person (latent)
-Can cause infection if the person’s immune system later weakens and antibody protection decreases due to the therapeutic drugs or disease

IgM
-IgM antibodies are the first to be produced by the body in response to a recent CMV infection.
- Present in most individuals within a week or two after the initial exposure.
- After several months, the level of CMV IgM antibody usually falls below detectible levels

IgG
-IgG antibodies are produced by the body several weeks after the initial CMV infection
-Levels of IgG rise during the active infection then stabilize as the CMV infection resolves and the virus becomes inactive
- A raised IgG indicates previous infection and does not mean the blood is infective.
Interpretation

Total CMV DNA Assay
-Using quantitative PCR to determine the total CMV DNA. We can perform this test if the IgM CMV is inconclusive.
-Less than 600 particles the person might be safe.
-More than 600 particles the person is CONFIRM to have the virus
YOU ARE GOING TO BE...................................................................…H.I.S.T.O.R.Y…….

What is the treatment for CMV infection?
In most cases, there is no treatment. An effective vaccine has not yet been developed.


Transmission of the virus is often preventable because it is most often transmitted through infected bodily fluids that come in contact with hands and then are absorbed through the nose or mouth of a susceptible person. Therefore, care should be taken when handling children and items like diapers. Simple hand washing with soap and water is effective in removing the virus from the hands.





Source References:


Mr Ooi Ghee Chien,


http://www.clinlabnavigator.com/Tests/CytomegalovirusAntibody.html


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cytomegalovirus

http://www.health.state.ny.us/diseases/communicable/cytomegalovirus/fact_sheet.htm

book review: new moon

For the pass few days I was reading my very first novel: new moon from Stephene Meyer. It's the second series of "Twilight". The story is about vampirer, warewolf and human. Edward Cullen is a vampirer, Jacob Black is a warewolf, Bella is a human. Bella fall in love with Edward but Edward leave Bella because Edward thought this is the only way to solve the problem. Bella had depression. Jacob Black is Bella's childhood friend. Jacob helps Bella when Edward breakup with her. But vampirer and warewolf is enamine because warewolf is the protector to the human when bad vampirer try to kill weak human. Edward's families is different they are vegatarian. But still Jacob dun like Edward's family in nature.

When I think back, I think the authur is trying to portral relationship between people. In life we have best friend and mate. Our best friend might be opposite sex. When we found our mate, mate might not like our best friend. Most of the time when we have trouble or we break up, our best friend is the one who usually helps us go through the hardship. Between boy and girl there is a relationship call "royal friendship" as close as they are in a family. Royal friendship always true and has boundaries, just like Bella love Jacob as friend not more than that because the lamb is in love with the lion. In life how many of us know the boundaries?It will be a blessing if we have a change to come a close one like Jacob.

Gift

Today I went to pick up my auntie from the airport. She bought me a gift. That is the most coolest gift I ever receive from her. She told me not to use it unless I get married because that is my marriage present. Well..... ok I really love jewellery but I now "can only see but can not use" . It is really a challenge for me. Ok... ok.... good things must wait as I always tell people.... But in my heart : what happen if I never get marry? cheers..